Arsenal Fans Will Kill Me For This

31 Mar

Football Life

A Liverpool, an Arsenal, and a Manchester United fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. Suddenly, Saudi Police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia. So for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of very competent lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By stroke of luck, it was on a Saudi national holiday that their trial was concluded. The extremely benevolent sheikh decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip each. As they were preparing for the punishment, the sheikh announced, “today is my first wife’s birthday and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.” The Liverpool fan went first in line. He thought for a while and then said, “please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying in pain. The Arsenal fan was up next. After watching the scouser in horror, he smugly said, “please fix two pillows to my back.” But even the two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Arsenal fan was led away whimpering loudly (as they always do). The Manchester United fan was the last one up. But before he could say a thing, the sheikh turned to him and said, “you support one of the biggest clubs in the world and your team is the finest. For this, you may have two wishes.” “Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness,” he replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100. Not only are you an honorable, handsome, and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The sheikh, with an admiring look on his face, said, “if 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish?” The Manchester United fan replied calmly, “tie the Arsenal fan to my back.”

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Posted by on March 31, 2015 in Humor


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